


Oreshi-niichan & Bokushi-niichan

by maknaelinetrash



Category: Kuroko no Basuke | Kuroko's Basketball
Genre: Bokushi, Everybody Loves Kuroko, M/M, Maximum Gayness Overload, Pseudo-Incest, Swearing, oreshi - Freeform
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-03-04
Updated: 2016-03-07
Packaged: 2018-05-24 15:53:29
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 3,368
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6158776
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/maknaelinetrash/pseuds/maknaelinetrash
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Kuroko Akashi (Oreshi) and Kuroko Seijuurou (Bokushi) are the two talented adopted twins of the Kuroko family. Intelligent, charming, and just drop-dead gorgeous, they were practically flawless in every single way possible. So who knew that of all the problems they could have, being overly obsessed with their younger brother Tetsuya's love life would be one of them?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Prologue

**Author's Note:**

> Oreshi/Akashi: Refers to everyone by their last name and refers himself with the 'ore' pronoun. Shoujo prince who can literally pleasure people with his godlike passes.
> 
> Bokushi/Seijuurou: Refers to everyone by their first name and refers himself with the 'boku' pronoun. Mr. 'I Am Absolute' with a 'kinda fucking scary' scissors fetish.

Kuroko Akashi and Kuroko Seijuurou, the adopted twins of the Kuroko family, were two sides of the same coin.

Both were equally hot - being twins after all (though Bokushi could argue that _he_ was the hotter twin) - with endless intellectual potential and _delightful_ athlete bodies. Everyone who met them thought they were the genetically perfect human beings.

...

Did you expect me to say 'how wrong they all were'?

Of course not. They were the Kuroko twins. They were fucking _flawless_.

...

Speaking of flawless.

Akashi, the older twin aka 'Oreshi-niichan', had purely crimson-red eyes. Stunning and brilliant was what people liked to describe his eyes. You could stare at them all day and just get _swallowed up whole_. They were the most alluring pair of red-colored eyes anyone could've ever _seen_. Oreshi didn't act like it, but he was secretly proud of his 'beautiful red eyes' for some uncharacteristic reason.

Oreshi was also unrealistically good with people, especially girls, and knew how to 'manipulate' them in a way that didn't even seem like he was asking them of _anything_. For that, everybody liked to call him the 'Shoujo Prince-sama of Teikou Middle'.

...

Not to his face, of course.

...

And like the typical teenager he was, he wore loose but practical clothing. Slightly big, collarless shirts, tank tops, comfortable-looking jackets and shorts. Overall, he preferred clothes that he could move around in easily, and had a minor attachment to his basketball gear. Okay, maybe not 'minor'. Bokushi sometimes caught him sniffing his Teikou uniform from the laundry basket or cuddling his basketball in the middle of the night. Their younger brother called his quirk 'cute'. Bokushi called it 'fucking ass creepy bro like wtf'.

...

Speaking of Bokushi.

Seijuurou, aka 'Bokushi-is-hotter-than-Oreshi'-niichan, had the weirdest fucking eye colours _ever_. A crimson-red right eye and an ash-gold left eye. Like. What. In. The. Actual. _Fuck_.

And yet every freaking straight girl or gay guy and what-the-fuck _ever_ would purposely fall to their knees just to get eye-raped by Bokushi's stunningly exotic eyes (Oreshi asked him whether he was abusing Emperor Eye for this reason. Bokushi denied it). And unlike Oreshi, Bokushi took visible, fucking _pride_ in his eyes. Like, 'my eyes can make people fall before me goddammit of _course_ I'm going to abuse this like crack'. Even without his Emperor Eye activated, crowds would _part_ before him in the hallways. This applied to Oreshi as well, but they parted before Oreshi out of awe and admiration (probably from that 'bishounen effect' or some bullshit like that). Crowds parted before Bokushi because he gave off this aura that screamed 'get the hell out of my way or I will impale your eyeballs with my trusty red scissors now MOVE'.

Yeah, Bokushi was fucking scary.

And yes, Bokushi went _way_ too overboard with his taste in clothing.

Unlike simple, practical and natural Oreshi, whatever Bokushi wore had to make him look _downright_ **sexy**.

Screw those cheap tops and unglamorous shirts and khaki shorts!

Bokushi went all-out with the classy work suits and fashionable, dress shirts and pants. Expensive, form-fitting jeans that showed off his fine ass. Fancy winter jackets and sleek thigh-high boots with _heels_.

He even got a cartilage piercing in his left ear, just to show that he meant business. Their younger brother called him ridiculous. Oreshi had locked himself up in the spare closet for two weeks out of depression when he realized that people actually started _flocking_ to Bokushi the minute he got that freaking piercing.

...

Speaking of their younger brother.

Kuroko Tetsuya. The actual Kuroko. Like the Kuroko-by-blood Kuroko Tetsuya, was the redheaded duo's non-biological, adoptive younger brother.

Additionally, the bane of their existence slash 'inappropriate incestuous brotherly crush'.

Tetsuya - or Kuroko because Oreshi still felt super formal for some reason around his younger brother - was the image of the perfect 'otouto'.

With his fluffy, teal-colored hair; face still containing some baby fat, and pale-blue eyes that stared into your soul...including his adorable love for vanilla milkshakes, undeniably inspiring passion for basketball, and penchant for giving barely pubescent, horny male teenagers a reason to get an awkward boner...

(Though whenever that happened Oreshi had already informed Bokushi to 'get ready the throwing knives because scissors are not enough for this')

Not to mention those pale cheeks that Bokushi tended to pinch on instinct, and the ridiculous bedhead that Oreshi just couldn't _help_ but comb through every morning...and oh god, whenever the teal-haired blunette just decided to _grace_ them with his occasional smiles during 'bonding time'...

Yeah. They were _so_ whipped for their younger brother it wasn't even _funny_.

...

To the Kuroko twins, Kuroko Tetsuya was their godsend.

If Oreshi and Bokushi were the emperors, Tetsuya wouldn't even be the _empress_. No, he'd be the god in the sky with all the power in the world to _destroy_ them. And hell, they probably wouldn't even put up much of a fight if that was the case!

Yes. They loved Tetsuya with all their heart, body and soul, and nobody could (dare) tell them otherwise.

...

Which resulted in them having an unhealthy obsession with fending off said younger brother's overly affectionate 'suitors'.

Yeah...this story is gonna turn out hella weird...


	2. Bokushi Falls Sick feat. Boner

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bokushi falls sick. That's it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oreshi/Akashi: Refers to everyone by their last name and refers to himself with the 'ore' pronoun. Shoujo prince who can literally pleasure people with his godlike passes.
> 
> Bokushi/Seijuurou: Refers to everyone by their first name and refers to himself with the 'boku' pronoun. Mr. 'I Am Absolute' with a 'kinda fucking scary' scissors fetish.

"Teeetsuuuyaaaa..."

"Sei-nii no."

"Buuuuut -"

"Bokushi, stop pestering Kuroko."

"Buuuut...Ore-nii..."

Akashi gave his younger-by-two-hours twin an exasperated look that came off as fond more than anything else. Kuroko still looked typically deadpan, ruined by a tinge of concern on his face as he gently pushed their stubborn brother onto their shared bed.

"We can handle the first string practice by ourselves, so just stay here and rest, Bokushi," Akashi sighed reassuringly.

"I don't need to reeeest...I'm peeeerfectly fine. Tell him, Teeeeetsuuuyaaa...!"

Kuroko gave Seijuurou a disapproving shake of his head as he easily fought off his brother's barely resisting flailing limbs.

"With all due respect, Sei-nii, a person who can't even walk two steps without tripping over flat ground is never considered 'fine'."

"It was an accideeeent..."

Kuroko's face remained deadpan.

"Sei-nii, you kissed Aka-nii on the lips today thinking it was me."

Akashi choked loudly at the remembrance of what happened that morning and wondered whether staring at his lock screen of Kuroko in a bath for a few hours would help him erase that rather traumatizing piece of memory from his mind.

"Sorry, Ore-nii."

"I would like it if you forgot about it as well, Bokushi," Akashi said grimly, looking a little sick himself.

"I already texted Nijimura-senpai and sent him a picture of you. He said, as quoted, 'can and will tie him to the bed and make sure he rests if he takes even one step out of the house and I can guarantee it would not be in the kinky way'."

The twins shuddered at that. Great, another traumatizing memory to bleach out of their heads.

"Teeelll hiiim to know his plaacee, Teeetsuuyaaa..."

"Sei-nii, no, he's our senpai."

"B-Buuuut..."

"Anyway. Just rest today, Bokushi. You're barely articulate as it is," Akashi cut him off abruptly as he helped Kuroko tuck their stubborn brother into bed.

If Seijuurou was actually not so sick at that point of time, he probably would've used his totally awesome point guard skills to escape his brothers' loving clutches. Unfortunately, he was so hilariously out of it he could probably pass off as a drunkard. A really hot drunkard, but a drunkard nonetheless.

He probably would've protested a lot more violently to the clothes he was being forced to wear as well. Since all he had as nightwear were (no joke) several pairs of monogrammed pyjamas that were so thick they might as well be made out of wool; Kuroko decided that he would wear one of Akashi's loose T-shirts and sweatpants.

Seijuurou would never admit it, but he was actually extremely grateful that they got him out of that suffocating fabric that could've probably given even Aomine asthma just by wearing it.

"Sei-nii..." Kuroko said softly, gently brushing the hair out of his brother's eyes, "please rest. For me..."

After seeing that endearing display of worry and affection from his little brother, Seijuurou eventually gave in, his resistance already crippling as his head fell gracelessly onto a pillow.

"Do you need anything before we leave, Sei-nii?" Kuroko sighed in relief, sitting daintly on the edge of the mattress.

Seijuurou looked up with hazy eyes, giddiness threatening to overtake him as he felt a cool towel being pressed onto his forehead.

Blinking rapidly, he caught his older brother drying his hands with the bottom of his shirt, grinning exasperatedly at the sick boy.

"A kissssss..."

Without even questioning his request, Kuroko leaned down to plant a brief kiss on his onii-chan's cheek, grimacing slightly at the ridiculous body heat the redhead was emitting. It was simply not healthy and the bluenette - despite his looks - was worried for him.

Seijuurou seemed to notice, and chuckled half-heartedly.

"Do I reaaaally taste thaaaat baaad, Teeetsuuyaaa?"

Kuroko shook his head cutely in response, his grimace still present on his face.

"No...it's just that Sei-nii has a really bad fever so..I'm worried."

Their younger brother's normally blank eyes quickly turned teary, his lower lip jutting out in a trembling pout. Complete with a dark blush on his cheeks and his thighs squeezed together anxiously, Kuroko looked...

_BA-DUMP BA-DUMP BA-DUMP_

Akashi's nose was bleeding so profusely it was spilling onto the floor and he was honestly already trying to handle it as calmly as possible while asking himself why the fuck was his little brother _so damn fuckdorable._

Seijuurou got a boner and was valiantly trying to hide it with a pillow as discreetly fucking possible while giving out punched-out groans.

Kuroko was completely oblivious to all of this and just went to ask:

"Akashi-niichan...Seijuurou-niichan...are you alright?"

Both twins heaved a frustrated sigh of relief and looked torn between laughing and crying at the question.

"Tetsuya/Kuroko...please stop being so cute!"

"Eh?" the innocent bluenette wonders loudly as he watches his brothers struggle with their self-inflicted internal crises.

...

Kuroko and Akashi ended up half an hour late to practice.

Kuroko's eyes were rimmed with red and was sniffing cutely into a handkerchief.

Akashi's nose was still bleeding.

Everybody wanted to ask the burning question that was lying on the tip of their tongues, but after careful consideration of the consequences, decided not to.

Because asking a stupid question is really not worth giving their currently ill co-captain enough motivation to run out of his bed and start stabbing people with his scissors, honestly.


	3. The Kuroko Kiss Challenge feat. Haizaki

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's exactly what the title states.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oreshi/Akashi: Refers to everyone by their last name and refers to himself with the 'ore' pronoun. Shoujo prince who can literally pleasure people with his godlike passes.
> 
> Bokushi/Seijuurou: Refers to everyone by their first name and refers to himself with the 'boku' pronoun. Mr. 'I Am Absolute' with a 'kinda fucking scary' scissors fetish.

It was a Thursday afternoon, 4 p.m. which meant that the first string players and regulars of the Teikou Basketball Team were having their practice in the first string gym.

Correction. The _first_ string players were practicing. The regulars, including Aomine, Murasakibara, Midorima and Haizaki were - for once - deep in a heated conversation initiated by the curious purple-haired center after asking one of the most _vital_ questions mankind had ever asked.

"Ne, what does Kuro-chin taste like?"

As if on instinct, everybody in hearing range froze.

Aomine spat out his drink.

Midorima's glasses cracked.

Nijimura decided that the candy addict manchild had finally snapped and was two seconds away from calling a psych ward.

Haizaki was frantically looking over his shoulder to check if a certain pair of redheaded homicidal maniacs were standing behind him.

"Murasakibara, what are you saying nanodayo!" Midorima admonished him, a flush hitting the tips of his ears at the question.

The overly-relaxed giant simply gave him a bored stare while munching on some vanilla flavoured Pocky.

"Kuro-chin drinks vanilla shake all the time...and always eats the vanilla pancakes that Aka-chin makes for him...so will Kuro-chin taste like vanilla if I **~ _chu_ ** him?"

_Of course he won't taste like vanilla nanodayo! Or will he? Wait, what am I thinking!? It's not like I'm curious or anything..._

_Fuck, I bet Tetsu tastes good..._

_This should be friggin' interesting...I get to steal something from all four of 'em if I play my cards right...and if I don't get caught by that fucking scary demon duo...and whadda fuck was up with that **~chu** , Atsushi!?_

Oh Haizaki, you adorable little schemer you.

And then Nijimura - of all people - actually started to look visibly bothered by the question and was at the moment torn between telling them to 'break it up before Seijuurou kills all of us for slacking' and 'fuck, how _does_ Kuroko taste like?'

"Niji-chin...you're blushing..."

The first string senpais all turn to look at the 'supposedly only sane man amongst the regulars' in deadpan disbelief while the Rainbow Captain flinches and recoils from their heated stares.

"How about we find out then?" Haizaki asked slyly, actually ecstatic at the thought of stealing the invisible player's lips before anyone else. Especially from that asshole Nijimura.

Yeah, he sees you Nijimura you closet ass pervert.

Aomine glared daggers at the silver-haired copycat, crushing the empty plastic water bottle in his grip like some badass.

"Lay a hand on Tetsu and I'll fucking kill you."

Haizaki merely scoffed and shot his Sleazy Smile #3 at the rest of the regulars sans Nijimura, who was currently having an internal conflict regarding his questionably immoral feelings for his adorable teal-haired junior.

"What, _Daiki_? Scared that Tetsuya won't let you kiss him despite being such good _**friends**_?"

**STAB!**

Aomine currently had a metaphorical knife shot through his heart.

"Or is it that our dear Tetsuya has already _**friendzoned**_ you?"

**STAB!**

Ah...another metaphorical knife to the neck...

"Aww...poor _Daiki_ , if you even **_tried_ ** to confess to Tetsuya, he'd probably assume you meant it in a _friendly_ way, seeing as how _**good friends**_ you two are..."

**STAB! TRIPLE FOUL! FREE THROW!**

Aomine was currently in a fetal position with three metaphorical knives stuck through his heart, neck and head, muttering something about being in the 'friendzone' and the fact that he actually felt depressed for being friendzoned at all by a _guy_.

Haizaki felt immensely satisfied.

"Stop it with your idiotic dares, Haizaki. I doubt Kuroko will appreciate us invading his personal privacy nanodayo," Midorima broke in firmly, adamant to not give in to the silver-haired slacker's taunting.

Haizaki snorted, "Cut the crap, Shintarou. We all saw you drinking out of Tetsuya's water bottle last week when you thought no one was looking."

Midorima's glasses cracked even further as he spluttered indignantly at the accusation.

"W-What...wait...I was just curious nanodayo!"

"Whadda fuck, Midorima! The only one who can drink from Tetsu's water bottle is me and me alone!"

"Wah...Mido-chin hentai~..."

"No wait you don't understand nanodayo - !"

"Sooooo since _Shintarou_ here has already 'kissed' Tetsuya, I'm assured that he doesn't need to join in on this bet -"

"Oi, Haizaki! Since when did this turn out to be a bet?"

"Eh? We're betting? Lazy..."

"Haizaki, don't be ridic -"

" **Bring it on, punk**."

There was a stunned silence, and literally everyone from the first string turned to look at their recently resigned captain in perpetual shock.

Nijimura, with his hands on his hips, was towering over the discussing regulars, eyes glinting and smiling with disturbing calmness.

"Since all of you are so _goddamn_ interested in finding out how the precious _otouto_ of **the** emperor duo of Teikou _tastes like_ , how about we _**raise the stakes**_?"

Nijimura's head whipped towards Haizaki's direction at that statement, eliciting a loud 'squeak!' from the younger boy.

"Let's see..." Nijimura faked a 'thinking pose', humming in exaggeration.

And then looked up and dramatically snapped his fingers, as if he just had most _brilliant fucking idea_ in the entire world.

"Whoever doesn't kiss or _gets kissed by_ \- which I find doubtful - Kuroko by the end of practice tomorrow, has to call _**Seijuurou** _ at 12 a.m. and tell him that he's a midget."

And with that declaration, the atmosphere instantly dropped to the negatives and **every single person present** (except Murasakibara was who was busy eating) were completely and utterly _**petrified**_ at what Nijimura just proposed to them.

Aomine's skin had gone completely white. There was a reason _why_ Nijimura mentioned Seijuurou instead of Akashi. Unlike Seijuurou, Akashi could _actually_ take a fucking joke sometimes _**if**_ he was in a good mood. Fucking-Murderer-In-Training-Seijuurou would _throw his fucking scissors_ at anyone who made a joke about him with _deadly accuracy._ Who knew what would happen to the poor schmuck who decided that his life wasn't worth living and thought it would be a good idea to _insult Captain Seijuurou to his **face**_?

Midorima's glasses had already shattered to the point where glass shards were falling all over his pumpkin (lucky item obviously). If there was one thing that could piss _any_ Kuroko brother off, it was commenting about their admittedly short stature. It didn't matter if the person was referring to Kuroko, Akashi or Seijuurou. Call _any_ of them that taboo word and it would piss _**all three of them off**_. Forget about _Seijuurou_ going after your hind, you'd have to deal with his twin who is _exactly the same height as him_ and whose accuracy is probably on an equal level if not _better_ than Seijuurou's... _and_ his _**darling** _ little brother who's even shorter and **_hates_** that word more passionately than the three of them combined.

Haizaki was dripping some weird sweat and was already trying to escape the premises hoping he could pull it off as 'feeling sick'. Contrary to popular belief, Bad Boy Emperor Kuroko Seijuurou did _not_ stay up all night until the wee hours of the morning studying _or_ playing a double life as an emperor in some undiscovered country (seriously what the f were the fangirls going on with _that_ theory?). If what Kuroko told them had any grain of truth in it, the youngest twin of the demon duo could very well be likened to an overgrown toddler that threw tantrums at the drop of the hat if he didn't get his way. Unlike Akashi, who was _actually_ the one who stayed up late studying; Seijuurou religiously slept at 9 a.m. sharp, claiming that if he slept any later, he wouldn't be able to fall back asleep and would wake up **extremely cranky** in the morning to the point where even _Kuroko_ would have a hard time trying to placate him. Dear god, imagine waking him up in the middle of the night just to tell him that _**he was a midget**_? Haizaki shuddered.

Meanwhile, Murasakibara was happily munching on some teriyaki maiubo, completely aware of the situation and honestly not giving a fuck over it.

"Also," Nijimura added sickeningly sweetly, catching the silver-haired copycat in his iron grip when he saw that he was trying to run away, "Don't try getting out of this. While you were all talking, I planted a bug on all of your phones that will alert me if you have not complied to the bet - if you lose - by 12 a.m. I will then _personally_ tell Seijuurou himself that I 'heard' that one of you guys said that he was a midget _in front of the entire team_."

Yes, because what was even **worse** than all three of those reasons was the fact that Seijuurou had to **hear** it from someone else, which would undoubtedly make him angrier to be aware of the fact that someone was actually _trying_ to **spread rumors** about him. And in freaking **_public_** too!

 ** _W-Wahh! WE'RE FUCKED!_** The first-year regulars sans Murasakibara - who was _still_ eating - panicked inwardly, while Nijimura's fellow first stringers started looking at him with a newfound respect shining in their eyes.

" **The Kuroko Kiss Challenge is on, everybody** ," Nijimura said cheerfully with a predatory purr in his tone, " **happy kissing!** "

...

At some point on their way to the first string gym, both Akashi and Seijuurou felt a shudder of mildly concealed fear run down their spines.

"What's wrong, Aka-nii, Sei-nii?"

Akashi's hand tightened around Kuroko's waist possessively, a twitch appearing in his eye.

"Our 'somebody-is-thinking-of-tainting-Tetsuya' senses are tingling," Seijuurou said on their behalf, his own eye twitching as well.

Kuroko simply sighed and rolled his eyes at his brothers' over-protectiveness.

It couldn't be _that_ bad, right?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I do not own KnB. If I did, it'll be R18 by now.
> 
> The next chapter will be the rainbow-haired idiots attempts at trying to get a kiss out of Kuroko!
> 
> (And yes Kise is not in this two part chapter as he hasn't existed in this timeline yet since they're all in first year and Kise only joined in his second but I'll assure you he'll get his spotlight next time)

**Author's Note:**

> No, I don't own KnB. If I did, it'd be R18 by now.
> 
> I got a spark of inspiration and decided to write this. Don't judge.
> 
> Also, I will answer any questions via PM. I will not answer questions via comments cuz that is wayyy to troublesome (I'm talking to all you Guest users here!).


End file.
